


all’s fair in love and hair

by gigglesbatch



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Inspired by Fanart, M/M, Snakes, snakes for hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 09:19:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16784101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigglesbatch/pseuds/gigglesbatch
Summary: Draco is hit by a curse that turns his hair into snakes. Harry has a little chat with the snakes, much to Draco’s dismay.Inspired by this adorable art on tumblr! (sorry for the ugly link)http://caroll-in.tumblr.com/post/180582652179/idea-someone-curses-draco-and-his-hair-turn-into





	all’s fair in love and hair

“Merlin’s balls Harry, did you hear the news about Malfoy?” Ron said in greeting as he sat next to Harry on the burgundy sofa in the Gryffindor common room.

Harry sighed and closed his textbook. He had been studying for about an hour now, and while he was thankful for the interruption he did need to finish this chapter tonight.

“No, what did the git do now?” He asked.

They had been back at Hogwarts for about a month and Harry had managed to completely avoid Malfoy during that time. Well, he avoided him most of the time. That Ron and Hermione knew of. Harry did happen to know Malfoys entire class schedule, not that that meant anything. And he knew what Draco did during his time off. And his favorite spot to read in the library. And which tree near the great lake he liked to sit under to study. And how his blonde hair, which he had grown out and was now below his shoulders, looked in the sun.

Shiny.

Glorious.

So beautiful.

But overall, Harry avoided Malfoy and couldn’t care less what the ponce arsehole was up to.

“Some fifth year hit him with a curse, and…” Ron started.

“Is he ok?! Who was it?!” Harry exclaimed, jumping up and knocking his book to the ground.

Not that he cared, mind you. He just didn’t think it was acceptable for students to curse other students.

Ron regarded Harry for a moment, fighting back a smile.

“He’s fine, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t worried.”

“Sure. Anyway, have you ever heard of Medusa?” Ron asked with a huge grin.

———

Draco Malfoy had thought about his death many times during the last year. Having a homicidal maniac as a roommate will do that to a boy. But never, not once, had he welcomed it as much as he did at this moment. Soft giggles interrupted his thoughts, and he spun around to face his best friend. _Former_ best friend if she didn’t stop laughing.

“Maybe you could just tie them back?” Pansy suggested, before she burst into a fresh round of giggles.

The nest of snakes atop Draco’s head hissed menacingly as he glared down at her. To Draco’s great satisfaction, that shut her up.

“What am I going to do, Pans? This is a fucking disaster.” He groaned, and then flopped onto his bed as dramatically as he could manage without hurting the snakes. It wasn’t their fault they were there, and he didn’t want to hurt them.

It was that bloody fifth year’s fault. Draco didn’t even know his name, and didn’t care to find out. Some kid among the many who hated him for his role in the war, and one of the many who took shots at him daily. This was one of the worst curses he had endured, so far anyway. It was old magic, so old that the professors weren’t sure of the counter curse and had to research it before they could take any corrective action. So Draco was stuck like this for the time being. Which, in his opinion, earned him the right to pout.

The curse had turned his hair, which he foolishly grew out over the summer (thanks to a rumor that a certain boy wonder preferred men with long hair), into long white snakes. The snakes were the same length his hair had been, just past his shoulders, but they preferred to stand up and look around. This had the effect of making them even more conspicuous, not that he had any hope of hiding the little buggers anyway.

Pansy sat next to Draco and rubbed small circles in his lower back, attempting to sooth him. Draco sighed and rolled over.

“I know I deserve it, but still. Why do they keep singling me out?” He asked.

“You know why.” Pansy replied, looking meaningfully at his forearm.

Draco threw said arm across his eyes and groaned.

“I’m never leaving this room again.”

An hour, and much arguing, later Draco found himself trailing behind Pansy as they entered the Great Hall. He tugged his green Slytherin cap down, earning himself several angry hisses from the poor snakes that were squished inside.

Pansy had tied them up with her softest scrunchie and then covered them with Draco’s knitted beanie, apologizing in baby talk to the snakes the entire time.

As he entered the room, Draco was greeted with laughter and shouted insults.

_Please_ _Merlin_ _or_ _whoever_ _is_ _listening_ _pleasepleaseplease_ _don’t_ _let_ Potter _be_ _here_. Draco prayed as he entered the room.

—————

Riotous laughter and jeering broke Harry from his revere, and he looked up from his dinner to see what caused the commotion.

Malfoy had just entered the room, a dark green beanie covering his head. He had his hands on either side of the cap and appeared to be holding it in place. Harry felt for the boy, having had every face in the room trained on him more than once, he knew how Malfoy felt.

“Do you reckon it’s true? That he really has snakes for hair?” Ron snickered beside him.

“Dunno, he’s got his head pretty well covered. No way to tell.” Harry responded.

“Where is the boy? The one who can speak to us? I don’t know I can’t see anything. He has black hair and beautiful green eyes apparently. Call out to him! Handsome hero boy where are you?!”

Oh no.

Merlin no.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Harry groaned, his head in his hands.

“What’s wrong?” asked Hermione.

Harry raised his head and looked toward the Slytherin table. He made eye contact with Malfoy, who blushed and quickly looked away. The snakes under his hat were squirming frantically, clearly unhappy with their current position.

“Well Ron, looks like it’s true.” Harry said.

Ron raised his eyebrows and smirked.

“How do you know?”

Hermione looked between Malfoy and Harry, and her mouth fell open.

“Harry! Are his snakes talking to you?”

——————

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” Pansy asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. Draco didn’t look up to see who it was, focusing instead on trying to eat with one hand while holding his hat down with the other.

“I was hoping to speak to Malfoy.” Potter replied.

At that, Draco looked up. He cursed every decision he had made in his entire life that brought him to this position. Back at Hogwarts against his better judgment, constantly harassed by other students, bloody snakes for bloody hair, and now Harry “I got super fit over summer just to torture your sad gay ass” Potter was here to join in on the teasing.

“What do you want?” Draco snapped.

Potter looked hesitant for a moment. He took a breath, seeming to steel himself for what he was about to say. This wasn’t going to be good.

“I’m not sure if you remember, but I’m a parseltounge. And, um, I think your snakes are talking to me.”

Beside him, Pansy squealed with delight.

“Oh this is too fucking good! Sit down Potter, tell us what the little guys are saying!” She exclaimed.

Draco frantically searched his brain for a spell that would make him spontaneously combust.

————-

“Hi. I’m Harry. I can understand you, I overheard you looking for someone earlier?” Harry asked the snakes.

“You! We were looking for you! Our Draco couldn’t stop thinking about you!”

“Me! What? Can you hear what he’s thinking?”

“Of course we can.” If snakes could roll their eyes, Harry was sure they were doing so. “We’re part of him.”

“I see. And what was he thinking?”

“How much he didn’t want to see you.”

Oh.

“Well he doesn’t much care for me, so that’s understandable. Are you comfortable under there?”

“No! Make him remove the covering! And he didn’t want to see you because he was afraid you would be disgusted. He cares about you, Harry.”

“What are they saying, Potter?” Malfoy interrupted.

“He’s angry and nervous. Quick, Harry, give him a hug. He loves hugs.”

“WHAT! He wouldn’t want a hug from me!”

“Damnit Potter why do you look so shocked, what are they saying?”

“Oh, he wants more than a hug from youuuu.”

Harry took a breath and shook his head minutely.

“They’re uncomfortable and want you to take your hat off.” Harry said, looking at the hat which squirmed more frantically at his voice.

Malfoys eyes bugged comically. “Absolutely not.”

“Pleasssse.”

“Please, Malfoy. They seem really unhappy under there. I’m sure they’re very cute, show them off!” Harry pleaded.

Malfoy blushed and looked away.

“He likes it when you compliment him.”

“Can you at least tell them to stop squirming?” Malfoy hissed, in a great impression of his snakes.

“They’ll stop when you take your hat off. Not that it doesn’t look good on you.” Harry replied.

Malfoy sighed dramatically and slowly lifted the hat off his head. A mass of thin white snakes burst forward, toward Harry.

They were, actually, cute. The mass surged forward across the table, pulling Malfoy with them, until they were right in front of Harry’s face.

“Oh he was right you are soooo handsome.”

Two of the snakes stroked along Harry’s cheek, while a few other reached down and wrapped themselves around his biceps.

“Did Malfoy say I’m handsome?”

“Of course! Do you think that we’re handsome?”

“Yes, you’re all adorable. Malfoy too, he’s blushing like crazy right now. Don’t tell him I said that.”

“It will be our secret. But you should tell him. He really likes you.”

“Me?”

“Of course! Do you like us too?”

“Merlin help me, I do.”

————-

“Pansy please help me, what do I do?” Draco whispered, low enough that Potter and the traitorous snakes could not hear.

They had been hissing back and forth for over an hour. Potter smiled through most of it, and kept sneaking glances at Draco. He was terrified as to what the snakes were saying. They were clearly over the moon for Potter, tugging and pulling at Draco until he was forced to move to the other side of the table and sit next to Potter so they could be closer. The snakes practically sighed with happiness, and draped themselves all over him. Not that Potter did anything to discourage them. On the contrary, he kept flashing them that blasted smile of his, and stroked down their scaley backs. It was incredibly indecent for a public setting.

“Jealous?” Pansy asked with a smile.

“Shut up you cow, you know I am. That’s not the point. I can’t stay like this all night.” Draco replied.

Draco risked a glance at Potter and immediately regretted it. He was smiling and had several of the snakes in his hand, petting them while leaning close and speaking softly. Draco couldn’t blame the snakes for their behavior, he would have swooned too. There was nothing to it though, Potter just felt bad for the snakes. He couldn’t care less about Draco.

“Potter! Stop groping my snakes. I’m going back to my common room.”

The snakes spun around and hissed at Draco. Potter rubbed along their backs gently and said something which immediately calmed them.

“What did you just say? Why are you turning my own hair against me?”

Potter continued to pet Draco’s hair.

“I told them to be nice to you since you’ve had such a bad day. Can I walk you back?” Potter asked.

Draco stared at him. What was Potter up to?

“Why?” Draco asked skeptically.

———————-

“Tell him the truth!”

“No way, he won’t believe me anyway.”

“Try it. We wouldn’t steer you wrong, we looove you almost as much as our Draco does.”

———————

“Well?” Draco asked impatiently. Potter had started chatting with the snakes again, and they were still hanging all over him. They really should have some self respect and not be so obvious.

Potter turned to face Draco and smiled.

“I’d like to walk you back because I want to ask you out, but I was hoping to do so in a more private setting.”

Draco was sure that he replied to Potter, likely something witty and flirty. He couldn’t say for certain what it was though, because his response was drowned out by Pansy’s cheers and his snakes’ frantic hissing (which he assumed were cheers as well).

Potter leaned forward, took one of the snakes in his hand, and gently placed a kiss on its head.

Can snakes sigh? These did.

He then took Draco’s hand and tugged him toward the door.

“Come on, I owe about 40 other snakes a kiss and I don’t want to do that here.”


End file.
